Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love

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TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Relationship Repair in a Flash
by Nancy Dreyfus

Tarcher/Penguin spiral-bound paperback
978-1585427703; $16.95; 2-color

Imagine you're having a heated argument with someone who, on a normal day, you care deeply about, but at this particular moment, are completely satisfied hurling hurtful words at. What if that person, without saying a word, held up a sign with the words TALK TO ME LIKE I'M SOMEONE YOU LOVE written on it. How would your interaction suddenly change?

That's precisely what Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D., prompted a husband to do as he was being criticized by his wife during a couple's session. He did. And within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Based on that, Dreyfus decided to create a more thorough tool using this system. That tool is a handy, spiral bound book, complete with flash cards: TALK TO ME LIKE I'M SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Relationship Repair in a Flash, which offers quick solutions to temper the heat of any argument and get back to healthy communication.
“Just about any couple using this material could humanize their relationship.”

—Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want

"We all have moments when words fail us and emotions take us into hurtful territory. The concept of the flash cards is as brilliant and compassionate as Nancy herself. If you want to be loved, understood, and accepted, and want to love, understand and accept others, you'll want to keep this book with you at all times.”
--Susan Harrow, CEO of and author of (Harper-Collins) andSell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul The Ultimate Guide to Getting on Oprah

Nearly every relationship guide urges couples to improve their lines of communication, become better listeners and be more open about their fears and feelings. But how do you choose the right words in the heat of the moment? And how do you keep your tone and inflection from mangling the message you want to communicate?

Veteran psychotherapist Nancy Dreyfus provides a groundbreaking solution in TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Relationship Repair in a Flash. An insightful guide and a unique tool, TALK TO ME highlights the power of written messages to defuse tension and put an end to conflict, offering both sound advice and more than 100 “flash cards for real life” that can be utilized in the heat of the moment. Organized by theme, the flash cards include such messages as:

• Shifting Gears:
o “I don’t need you to see this exactly as I do. But I do need you to hear where I am coming from.”
• Taking Responsibility:
o “I can see that my anger has been destructive and that I’ve really hurt you.”

• Getting Clarification:

o “I can absolutely see why you’d be annoyed with me, but can you give me some sign that we’re still friends?"
• Apologizing:
o “I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of something so unimportant.”

Dreyfus has used the cards in her sessions and in her life. Now, in TALK TO ME LIKE I’M SOMEONE YOU LOVE, she brings this one-of-a-kind relationship tool, along with her extensive and insightful “field notes,” to a broader audience.

Nancy Dreyfus , Psy.D., is a psychotherapist and couples therapist with more than two decades of experience. She holds a doctorate degree from Hahnemann University Medical School. Visit her online at


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